Really, life is good. For all the positions I could be in, I certainly can't complain about where I am. And I find that is the only thing that truly matters, where I am now.
My sister asked me a question during the time I was graduating from Colorado College way back in 2004. She said, in essence, "do you regret anything about your time here?" I thought about it a little bit and said, "there are things I've done that I'm not proud of, and there are things that I'm ashamed of, but ultimately they have all led me to this place with these people at this time. I love my life now and so I don't regret anything that I've done, ever."
I thought that was a pretty good answer to a really deep question. However, it's a question that I'd never had to ask myself through personally trying times. So, I'll ask myself that now. Do I have any regrets; anything I would take back; anything that if I could undo, would I undo? Do I have any regrets?
No. Absolutely not. For all the debt I incurred; for all of my "drain on society's economy;" for all of the heartbreak, both for me and for my loved ones; I absolutely wouldn't change a thing that I've done or which has happened to me. It's through these trials and tribulations that I find a clarity in my world through which I can enlighten other people. Even if I knew the exact cause of my tumor, I still wouldn't go back in time to stop it.
My cancer has given me (perhaps despite it's best efforts) greater relationships with my friends, a variety of exceptional mentors, and a deeper, more meaningful relationships with my family than I could ever have hoped for otherwise. I believe I've been able to enrich their lives to a greater degree than I could have otherwise. It's strange, and I'm aware that the cancer could shorten my life, but I'm grateful for the position I'm in, for this moment at this time with all of you who have been so supportive.
I believe in the life that God gave me, that it is right, and that I can do right by it. How could I ever regret that?
4 comments:
Michael!
After reading your blog a couple of times I'm glad to hear you say you wouldn't change much of anything, I feel exactly the same way, I would pretty much go back and live it all again the same way. If not I might not have met you and your family and all my other friends. Keep looking foreward, We are all behind you.
Danny and Mary
Well, you pretty much rock.
Hi Michael -
Had you on my mind all day today and I hope things are getting better each day. Lots of love from us.
Danny and Mary
We are so very proud of you Michael. Just keep on truckin'!
Love, mom and dad
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